Your worth is intrinsic. It is a natural, stable part of your existence. I wish I could stop there. The you who was abused and relentlessly shamed at some point in your life. The you who was taught you have to achieve and accomplish to prove your worth. The you who believes you have to lose yourself to earn love. The you whose identity is built on the sandcastle that is your work performance.
You are not worth less when you make a mistake or do something that is hurtful toward another. Your value is not diminished when someone does not like or approve of what you do. We are accountable for our actions. But your inherent value remains stable. It is within you. The same is true for all people. When we let others define our worth, it can never be stable. It will vary from person to person as they view us with their subjective lens defined by their beliefs and values.
Of course, we care what other people think. It especially matters what the people close to us see in us. Of course, we humans impact one another. Of course, words can hurt. But the reality is that we cannot control all of these factors in our lives.
We are all flawed, imperfect human beings β we just have different flavors of imperfections. Not a single one of us humans gets everything right, every time. And not a single one of us can please everyone, all the time.
Because different people want different things from us. So trying to please everyone becomes a chaotic, scattered pursuit of goals that are often in direct conflict with each other. It can be maddening. And exhausting. Are you tired? Have you maxed out all of your resources and found that you still have not accomplished pleasing absolutely everyone?
