We're taught from a young age that a "regular" relationship involves a man and a woman enjoying a monogamous bond. As LGBTQ people grow up and get to grips with their sexuality and gender identity, they learn to reject this heteronormative construct of what a relationship should look like. But the idea that our "soulmate" is someone we should be completely faithful to, percent of the time, can be trickier to shake off.
When I came out at 18, I'd never have thought an open relationship could be right for me. Now, after 15 years of boyfriends and break-ups, I know it's a conversation I'd want to have with any potential partner.
I've always been fascinated by the different ways in which people, often queer people, can tailor a relationship to make it work for them. And yet, open relationships are still tainted by an unfair and often ill-informed stigma. Some people say they're less stable, less committed, and even less loving. Here, a gay couple from Atlantaβyear-old Tyler and year-old Markβshare the story of their open relationship. There's no right or wrong way to have an open relationship, but Tyler and Mark have created one which makes both of them very happy.
Tyler: I met Mark on Grindrβhe was the "visiting top" in town on a work trip. We spent the night together and hung out the next day, but then he had to fly home. A couple days later, he called me and said, "I can't stop thinking about you. I'd been dating a closeted conservative pastor's kid, so I always felt like I was towing the line between "out" and "not out. We'd gladly talk about guys we were dating or sleeping with.
We visited each other a few times, and after about six months I packed up my stuff and drove from my hometown, Spokane, to live with Mark in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. We became monogamous as soon as I moved in, but after about a year, we realized that I'd kind of inserted myself into Mark's life and didn't have many friends of my own.
