As the weather cools down, dating heats up as people secure a cuddle buddy for "cuffing season," but for some, taking a slower approach may be the best strategy. While anyone can try this strategy at any time, the added pressure and stress of the holidays can make this approach especially beneficial this time of yearβ and particularly for LGBTQ folks who may face unique challenges.
They might want to keep things light. They might also have parts of themselves so they're not ready to share. If there's someone who's in the midst of gender transition, keeping things slow while they're going through their own changes and process," Abrams said, adding having that joyous connection may act as an escape to "get your mind off the harder parts of this season and the harder parts of life. In a report published by dating app Hinge earlier this year, the "slowmance" approach was identified as becoming increasingly popular among LGBTQ daters no matter the season.
Abrams said this approach can be "beneficial for everyone," however, by offering a different approach to the typical "rules" of dating. So having this term and this concept and this framework to do things differently, I think is helpful for everyone," Abrams said. Communicate : Being open and direct about what you're looking for is key, Abrams said.
Keep convos light : Instead of bringing up topics that might be typical on a first date like family, exes and more, remember that you can steer clear of the serious stuff and keep the conversation casual.
Consider boundaries : Think about your own tendencies in relationships and the boundaries that you might want to set up, so you "don't fall into the pattern of going deep too quickly if that is something that you have done in the past," Abrams said. Focus on fun : Remember the goal of a slowmance is to focus on joy, Abrams said, so lean into adventure, fun and flirtation.
