Listen below. You can also find the podcast on Spotify , Apple , and other providers. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Thank you to Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones. My boyfriend and I have been in a long term closed relationship for almost 6 years.
Recently he brought up the idea of wanting an open relationship. Neither of us have been with other people ever or have been in an open relationship before. My boyfriend is a very sexual person and I am just not as physical. After listening to many podcasts of yours, we had in depth talks about boundaries and things we should establish for this transition.
I am not a person who enjoys having casual sex, but I feel this may give us both chances to explore. We both do not want to break up, as we love each other very much and we want a life together. I guess I am just asking for some advice on how to transition and other tips you may have with combating the fear and anxiety that goes along with this transition. In response to your question, I think that the first thing that I would do… I don't always think that opening relationship to address unmet needs is a bad thing, but I do think that sometimes people rush to that as an option, before considering other options, You say that this is about unmet needs.
But it seems like it's a very one sided unmet need. It doesn't seem like there is a need that's being unmet on your side. It seems like your boyfriend is more sexual than you, and maybe wants different types of sex or wants sex more often than you. And so opening the relationship is the purpose of doing that.
I don't think that that that's necessarily a bad thing. But the thing that worries me about this is that when you decide to have a non-monogamous relationship temporarily or long term, specifically for the purpose of addressing an issue that is going to be a very big and valid reason for you to feel jealous and scared and it's not to say that you can't overcome that or it's not to say that can't be addressed.
