We are not drawn to people by rational assessment, but emotional factors. People who connect better tend to be more successful, have more friends and work in teams that are more productive. There are 5 accelerators of rapport building: Vulnerability, Proximity, Resonance, Similarity, and Safety.
Revealing our inner fears, weaknesses, builds trust because we are putting ourselves at emotional, psychological or even physical risk metaphorically exposing our neck to them. These are fillers and the response is not particularly important. We usually limit these conversations to only the closest people we know. However, used appropriately, they can be very powerful with a wider selection of people. The deeper we go, the deeper the engagement we can make. He first started off asking them what was their best and worst moment in their lives.
But it was through discussing the worst moments that the team really connected. Not only did they feel they had formed a closer bond, but months later they reported a retained sense of bonding. Likewise, Match. He was seen as irrelevant. Clinton then went on the talk shows, and told people about his personal life: his childhood; being raided by a single parent; his alcoholic stepfather; a drug addict brother.
In short he became vulnerable β but he also became human. He formed a deeper personal connection with people who found him easier to identify with than his billionaire contenders.
It is scary to reveal stuff and feels count-cultural , but when we reveal to the right amount, at the right time it can transform a relationship. But their fortunes were reversed by a random act of student accommodation. Four of their players were housed in the same dorm. With this combination at the heart of the team, they went on to win the NCAA tournament two years in a row. Talented as they were, none of them were superstars in their own right.
