I thought I had cracked the Norwegian friend code. I had joined multiple clubs and student organizations, I had formed study groups, I had gone on cabin trips with my study program classmates. But weekend after weekend, I noticed something strange: I would attend a party or two on Friday and Saturday, enjoying the comradery and friendliness of intoxicated Norwegians. But every Monday I was left feeling lonely, an emotional hangover after a weekend of fun.
What was this phenomenon? The first column: Welcome to Norway — now fill out these forms. Neither is that woman who you just talked to for an hour about her latest relationship, or the girl who helped you find your lost shoe. You thought this was the beginning of a beautiful friendship, when it was in fact a friendship one-night stand. When you see each other in the school cafeteria on Monday, they will not respond to you waving. If you say hello, it will be as if you exist on different planes in separate dimensions.
And if you do somehow manage to get them to acknowledge you, it will be as if the night never happened, no matter how well you thought it went. These «friends» only wanted a night of fun, no strings attached.
But then how are you supposed to make friends? Native Norwegians make friends in primary school and never let go. It takes a lot to break in, and the only way is to beat them at their own game.
You know, and they know you know, but no one needs to say it out loud. Try to hang out with friends of friends. It will make you seem less threatening the day after, and also increases the chances you will encounter them again, helping to build a connection in contexts other than confessional «1-AM-post-beer-kebab-shop.
