As an independent publication, we rely on contributions from readers like you to fund our journalism. Musings on plugs and pegging were soon overshadowed by news about bushfires, plane crashes and impeachment trials.
How am I supposed to write a fun-filled article about butt sex in the midst of a Dumpster fire? I shared my dilemma with a sex-educator friend. They argue that connecting with our own sense of physical gratification is central in challenging systems of oppression. One of the ways that we start doing the work of reclaiming our full selves β our whole liberated, free selves β is by reclaiming our access to pleasure. She invites readers to participate in hot and heavy homework, including exercises in masturbation Brown asks her readers to masturbate before, during and after reading her book , taking nude selfies and having consensual erotic experiences with another person.
Cat has been doing sex-positive advocacy and anti-sexual violence work both locally and nationally for the last 25 years. She reassured them that their desires are normal and natural. She sold dildos and helped folks find the right vibrators sometimes their first one. She discussed pleasure as something to be expected and deserved with customers who usually hear a very different message. Cat engages in similar conversations these days, but with people trying to return to a sense of safety, normalcy, dignity and connection with their bodies after experiencing sexual violence.
Those are the same folks who are doing the work to envision new and liberation-based ways forward. People hoping to dabble in butt stuff with a partner may not feel empowered to bring it up, and some who had negative experiences with anal play in the past β perhaps they rushed into it or were pressured by a partner β may have written it off. Anal play can also be a fun exercise in slower, deliberative, consent-driven sex. It may have a reputation for being kinky, but safe anal also requires relaxation, meditation, massage β in short, intimacy.
Rimming, also called analingus, is the act of using the mouth, lips or tongue on the rim or anal opening, where most of the nerve endings are. With butt stuff, the potential for pleasure is high, as is the potential for pain. Move slow and communicate your needs with your partner, breathe and, for the love of God, use lube.
