Things you buy through our links may earn Vox Media a commission. Do you know how humbling it is to get to the very end of the men on a dating app? When you have literally swiped through them all and have to start over, looking at the same guys you passed on, waiting for new ones to join? This happens regularly on Hinge because I only look at the Black guys. I lived in New York and I had youth on my side. I immediately gave it a try and was shocked to find that in addition to the guys I usually saw, there were men who were more handsome and better educated and who had better jobs than those who usually showed up in my search results.
Neither would surprise me. Meanwhile, college-educated Black women are 53 percent less likely to marry a well-educated man than white women are. But also, I live in L. Ashleigh, an acquaintance of mine who lives in New York City, decided to give it a try too. Her settings allow her to view people of all genders and all races, and she uses the free version, which limits how many people you can swipe on per day.
When she does match with cis men, she finds they frequently introduce themselves with sexually charged comments, often commenting on her body type. No one has mentioned it yet. She too is seeing men who generally would not come up in her feed, also with better jobs and education, some of whom live in fancy parts of town.
She says the truth is probably somewhere in the middle — after all, these apps are designed to keep us on there, spending money. The same goes for two other women I spoke to who tried going white to see if their prospects would improve. Alanna, a year-old Black woman also based in L. More real photos of them versus the memes I usually see. As has been the case since I moved to L. I take comfort in the fact that white women routinely take to TikTok and X to vent about how awful dating is for them too these days.
In spite of the evidence to the contrary, I do believe my prince is out there. This email will be used to sign into all New York sites. By submitting your email, you agree to our Terms and Privacy Policy and to receive email correspondence from us. Account Profile. Sign Out. Tags: dating relationships dating apps self identity first person best of the cut More.
