Click for details. Hey, God. Yes, the same Dan who stopped going to synagogue after he promised a temple full of friends and family on the day of his bar mitzvah that he would continue his Jewish education.
But that was a long time ago. I acknowledge that my grievance is a rather small one. Why would you โ an omnibenevolent, omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent deity โ bestow these hirsute buttocks upon me? If you do everything for a reason, then to what end or purpose have you done this to me? What is this point of this indignity, of me having such a shaggy problem down there?
It serves no adaptive purpose. I reap no benefit from having this dense foliage. The area is plenty warm, even without hair. Having hair there serves no real purpose except to create the problem of fecal matter getting stuck in the anal thicket every time I take a shit. If I have a packet of wet wipes handy I can more or less deal with it, but even then, I need to use a few wipes to get the area sufficiently clean.
If I just have your standard dry toilet paper to work with, undoubtedly I will have to pull up my pants knowing full well that there is still kaka in the anal copse no matter how many times I wipe. Sometimes the only solution is to hop in the shower and hose down the whole crime scene. I suppose I could always shave my hairy ass crack or get it waxed, but the former is only a makeshift solution, and the latter is expensive and painful.
I can only imagine how the sensitive flesh twixt my cheeks would respond to such rough treatment. And whether I shave or wax, I know from contending with my back hair that I will have to keep doing so regularly in order to prevent regrowth. So why would you do this to me? Have I committed some sin that has made you curse me with abundant ass hair as a consequence?
