All products are independently selected by our editors. If you buy something, we may earn an affiliate commission. I had the phrase "not a unicorn" in my Tinder profile for years. It wasn't to indicate distaste for the mythical being because, hey, I change my hair color enough to be in solidarity with their rainbow aesthetic.
Instead it was to cut down on messages from couples who were "unicorn-hunting. For the uninitiated, the term unicorn-hunting typically describes the practice of an established couple searching for a third partner to engage in either threesomes or triads relationships between three people. The joke is that the existence of such a woman is so elusive she may as well be a mythological creature.
Obviously wanting to have a threesome between consenting adults is a common and totally healthy fantasy, and triads are one of many relationship models that can work for different people. To put it lightly, this is Not Cool. Realizing potential thirds need to feel safe, seen, and have their boundaries respected should be nonnegotiable, Rachel Simon, L.
I want you to find your third, and I want your third to feel safe and respected. Engaging in sexual relationships —whether with one, two, or 10 partners—involves navigating individual desires, setting boundaries, and communicating. If you approach the topic of threesomes or triads as a couple, it can be easy to prioritize what feels best for the relationship without thinking about what you personally want.
So check in with yourself first: What are you looking for? Is it a one-off sexual encounter? A three-way relationship? Something in between? Do you really even want your partner involved? Whose pleasure is being prioritized? You would want to have total confidence in the fact that both people you're getting involved with are super excited, on board, and sure of what they want. Otherwise you could be putting yourself in a situation that could be anything from awkward to dangerous.
