We may receive a commission on purchases made from links. First dates can be equal parts exciting and nerve-wracking. Whether you're looking for "the one" or just hoping to enjoy some no-strings-attached romance, initial impressions are so important.
But in the jumble of anticipation and anxiety that is dating, it can be all too easy to commit some critical first-date mistakes , from nitpicking a new partner to miscommunicating your intentions. The result can be a tortuous first-date experience full of crossed wires, forced politeness, and zero chemistry. Wondering how to dodge these pitfalls and help your date run more smoothly? It turns out that science has some answers. Orbuch knows what it takes to set a scientifically solid foundation for romance, starting from that all-important first date.
There's something to be said for spontaneity, but when it comes to first dates, you may not want to leave everything to chance. In fact, Dr. Terri Orbuch advises you to plan ahead. Rehearse questions, make a list of possible topics to talk about, and make reservations in advance for dinner, theater, or wherever you plan to go. Not only will you feel more prepared β and, hopefully, at ease β but the very act of planning could make a good impression on your date.
Orbuch adds. A little forethought can also help you avoid common dating traps. For instance, you may want to skip the dinner date for more casual coffee or drinks so you aren't stuck for too long if the date disappoints. You could also leverage planning to avoid the movies for a more meaningful first-date experience or coordinate a safe exit strategy in case things get outright uncomfortable.
When it comes to first-date communication, your conversation should be a two-way street. Terri Orbuch recommends. You may feel the need to 'sell' yourself, but in reality, your date won't like it. Instead, Dr. Orbuch says to ask your date open-ended questions about themselves, such as about their hobbies and interests. One study in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology put this theory to the test by having participants exchange questions "escalating in personal and emotional depth" and found that "curiosity predicted positive relationship outcomes.
