That is how I feel when I look upon some of the men my friends date. Obviously, sometimes guys who seem like schmucks on the surface turn out to be diamonds in the rough. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. On multiple occasions I have noticed that female friends date guys with one or more characteristics that indicate they are in possession of significantly less social capital than thenon as concerns men, but I feel that it is very different in their ca ladies themselves.
We are all familiar with this phenomese. Older men who reach a certain income bracket sometimes end up with girls half their age and several shades of fake tan darker than the average woman. This is an instance of when women become status symbols. Despite our advances, we still live in a patriarchy.
So often I hear friends lamenting about the guy so-and-so is dating, who is dumber than she is. He is shorter, he is poorer and takes her money, he is a waste of her talents and beauty. We are friends, by and large, with our equals, right? Why are the rules so different for romantic relationships? How do these guys who do not have their shit together get beautiful, talented, financially stable women? How do such women manage to get into relationships with them? She probably knows the whole time that she could find someone whose conversation has her firing on all cylinders, but if this guy is already present, what is the point of going elsewhere and giving up a sure thing?
Why challenge yourself and face your fears of being alone when you can settle? The answer is simple: it provides her with a false sense of security. Security, because she is choosing to spend her time with a man who perhaps could not do better. She has given him a great catch; in his life there is no competition, and that much, at least, he knows. The security of being in a relationship makes insecure people feel better. A dear friend of mine is the sole female at a big engineering firm in a big city.
She is one of the most logical people I have ever known; if she feels you are being less than perfectly logical and reasonable, she will not hesitate to let you know in rather harsh terms.
