January 22, Posted here with permission of the author. Six weeks ago, with a secret photographer looking on, I escorted my girlfriend Taylor to a patio overlooking a lake upstate.
Taylor and I had met here at Columbia through mutual friends, sat beside each other in Art Hum, and went on a dozen dates in the city. Just before the outset of our senior year, right there on that patio, I proposed to her; she said yes, with the camera bulb flashing behind her. Needless to say, Taylor and I have taken a few deviations from the common college dating route.
We read a devotional book and pray together to promote intimacy in our emotional and spiritual lives. But as our model, which draws a great deal from the doctrines of Christianity, has worked for us, we believe it could work for everyone, regardless of religious conviction.
What exactly does our dating model entail that makes it so rare on a college campus? The model, as I will define it here, has three distinct characteristics, all of which have significant but not exclusive links to Christian literature and Evangelical tradition. First, our model is solely concerned with serious relationships: since marriage is the true endgame, making the decision to pursue someone should only occur if a lifelong commitment is in play.
For us, this philosophy comes from the Bible, but it ought to fall more largely under the common code of human kindness. Thirdβand this is what makes it most counterculturalβour model implores young couples to abstain from sex until the marriage vows are exchanged.
