Do you think it's ok for a married man to get happy endings from his female massage therapist? I've been going to a licensed CMT who provides a very high quality massage and an erotic hand release. Sometimes she will do the hand release first so I can be relaxed during the massage.
The orgasm is very intense and it feels like my testicles are empty for hours. It also makes me excited for more, which benefits my wife. My therapist has very strict boundaries as she does not get nude or provide anything more than a hand release.
No harm, no foul, right? Although my wife would probably disagree. There are two ethical questions at play here.
First, is it OK for a person in a monogamous, committed relationship to have sexual contact outside of that relationship? Second, is it OK for a licensed professional in a healing or therapeutic role to have sexual contact with his or her clients? The short answer to both questions is no. You say that your wife would probably disagree with your "no harm, no foul" take on things, so you already know that what you're doing is wrong, and if you hoped I would say different and thus justify your behavior — sorry.
What's wrong in this situation is the fact that you have made the decision to be nonmonogamous without consulting your wife, and in a healthy relationship, that's a decision that should be made together. Dishonesty, lying and cheating are rarely if ever justifiable and have the potential to cause real harm to others.
