With oak leaves floating like love notes on the Genesee River, the couple canoed in the crisp air and embarked on a romance that would last a lifetime. For us, the whole process was more subtle. We hung out as friends for awhile, and as time passed, our friendship just turned into romance. There was a fuzzy boundary between friendship and romance. There is no formal script for how friendships become something more. Such details as the sweaty palms, awkward introductions, nervous, ask-her-out phone calls.
Those relics have been replaced by a new lingo and new technology in the hour world of e-mail and its fast-talking, caffeinated cousin, Instant Messaging. Instant Messaging has become a common meeting place for virtual dates as well as the communication meat and potatoes of college relationships. In my first serious relationship on campus, my girlfriend and I used IM all the time to touch base, chat, or coordinate schedules.
Having so many ways to stay connected to each other, Reiter admits, can lead to conflicts in relationships. Demanding class schedules coupled with budgeting time for studying, extracurricular activities like clubs and sports, and other friends, can create tension, especially if one partner has unrealistic expectations for how much time the two can spend together.
Striking this balance between academic success and personal relationships can be tricky, says Dean of Students in the College Jody Asbury.
That takes a lot of communication. And not surprisingly, some of that happens on the Internet rather than face to face, which is a real change. But amidst all the technology and informality, many students still say they have a traditional hankering to meet someone special during their undergrad years and make a commitment to another person, if perhaps not for a lifetime, at least beyond the single party or semester.
